Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Chapter 34 - Tango Pete and Cha-Cha Lil

Tango Pete was delighted to know the profile of his character was about to be raised in 'Poulet Nous.' He hadn't liked to say anything, because ultimately he was a really nice cock, but he'd made quite a contribution to the plot so far, what with setting up fireworks and camera and sound equipment, and helping to build the arena and picking errant rock stars up from airports in the middle of the night, and he'd been thinking it would be nice to more than a bit part performer.

And now his chance had come.
'What do you think?' said his girlfriend, Cha-Cha Lil. She swirled before him in a dress and fur stole (not real fur, the author hastens to add; but one of those very realistic faux numbers).
'Very nice, darling,' said Tango Pete. He himself was wearing a smart suit, quite a change from his usual casual disco wear. He adjusted his lapels in the mirror and smoothed back an eyebrow with the dampened tip of his wing. 'Shall we?' he said, offering his wing to Lil.
'Let's,' siad Lil, taking him arm and giggling.

This was going to be such fun.

* * * * * * * * * *

'A Mr and Mrs Tangoed to see you, Mr Dangled,' said Cleverly's secretary through the intercom.
'I ain't got any appoitment wiv any Tangoed's,' said Cleverly.
'You haven't got an appointment,' corrected the secretary.
'That's what I said,' said Cleverly.
'You didn't,' said the secretary, glancing at her watch. It was nearly lunchtime. Did she really have the time, nay energy, to argue points of correct grammar with her boss? No, a prawn cocktail sandwich was waiting for her.
'Look,' she said. 'Do you want to see these people or not? I can send them away if you like.'
During the exchange, Cleverly had wandered to the window. Down in the car park, he could see a large, shiny, black limosine parked up. A pink flamingo in full chauffeur livery leant against the driver's door, yawning.
'Nah, it's okay. Send 'em in,' said Cleverly. He was always willing to see people who were loaded enough to be able to afford to be driven aroond in cars like that.

He turned to face the door.

'Mr and Mrs Tangoed?' he said, as Tango Pete and Cha-Cha Lil swanned into the room with all the swanky pretention of supreme and vulgar wealth.
'Mr Dangled,' said Tango Pete, in a bizarre approximation of a Texan accent. 'So glad you could see us. I'm Peter and this is my wife, Lilian.'
'You're not from these parts, are you?' said Cleverly Dangled as he shook their wings.
'No sir,' said Tango Pete. 'We're from a little old place in America called Texas. You might have heard of it.'
'Where the oil comes from,' said Cleverly.
''S'right,' said Tango Pete. He took the ten gallon hat from his five gallon head and threw it casually onto Cleverly's desk. 'And we're here to make a proposition.'
'Really?' said Cleverly.
'Yes sirree,' said Tango Pete, who was really getting into his character now. 'We've had a tip off from our little old agent her in little old England. Miss Rita Miassov.'
'I know Rita,' said Cleverly.
'She said that you were about to do business on a field of rare Italian marble,' said Tango Pete. 'And that you might be interested in taking on a business partner. A wealthy business partner.'

Cleverly shook his head. 'Oh, well, I'm afraid you've been misled,' he said. 'I don't do business with no-one but meself. You've 'ad a wasted journey, Tangoed, me old son.'

At that moment, Cleverly's mobile rang out.
''Scuse me,' he said, and stepped to the back of the office to take the call.
'It's Rita,' said Rita. 'I've got some news about the Manor.'
'What news?' said Cleverly.
'It's not good, I'm afraid,' said Rita. 'Andy and Denise won't sell. At least not for the money you're offering. It would appear they are more attached to the place than I gave htem credit for.'
'Bugger!' said Cleverly. And then, 'Am I allowed to say that?'
'For the moment,' said the author. 'It seems an appropriate reaction. I'll give it further considertaion when I start editing.'

'Okay,' said Cleverly. 'Ow much do they want, exactly?'

Rita told him. He paled, but managed to keep his knees braced so he didn't crumble to the floor.
'Right,' he said. 'Offer that to them. I may have found a schmuck, I mean, extra funds, just in time.'

He closed the phone call and turned to see Tango Pete and Cha-Cha Lil about to leave the office.
'Wait!' he called. 'Mr and Mrs Tangoed. Now, let's not be too 'asty, eh? I mean, it might be good to have a partnership wiv you. Strengthen bonds across the Atlantic and all that,eh?'
'Well, only if y'all think,' said Tango Pete, and Lil did a bit of eyelash batting, just to seal the deal.

Leaving the office, Tango Pete and Cha-Cha Lil maintained their character charade until they were safely in the back of Dave 'Shiplap' Chalet's limousine.
'So how did it go?' said Dave, turning and raising his chauffeur's cap.
'Like a dream,' said Tango Pete. 'He's agreed to double his offer for the land at the Manor if we do the same. He's transfering the funds to our 'off-shore oil refinery' account right now. And then we're meeting him at the Manor to 'sign contracts' tomorrow afternoon, as soon as we've checked the money has cleared.'

'And did you get the fake mining report?' asked Rita, who was also sitting in the back of the limo.
'No problems,' said Cha-Cha Lil, removing the document from where it was concealed down the front of her dress. 'They don;t call me 'Cheeky Cha-Cha, the Lock Picker Dream Boat,' for nothing.'

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